The Dead End...

The Dead End…

Few years back I was sitting in a seminar when this guy asked me, “What is the difference between faith and Belief?” For someone like me who always try to avoid the eye contact with the speaker, it took me by surprise and the question hit me like the bullet right between eyebrows.

”What? Are they different? I use the first to describe the later one”, laterally was my response.

“Correct. They both are same”, turning to the audience he said. I took a sigh of relief while settling down on my seat. “They both mean the same at this point of time” confusing everyone he continued, “Let me explain. Say there was this person in your life you used to believe blind folded once. But you don’t believe her anymore now. Why…? because she is your ex now”. Entire hall burst into laughter. I don’t understand why people laugh so much for the jokes on Exes when they didn’t even had one. “I don’t think there are many who believe their Ex” He said coming to the edge of stage almost laughing. While turning back he further continued, “But what about the faith? Faith is something that we show in the God that we’ve never seen and in the Gods we see everyday…Our parents. I don’t think this Faith will ever be hampered by anything. So your belief, limiting or motivating is something that keeps changing over the course of time but the Faith doesn’t”. For some strange reasons I reminded this incident and those lines all over again vividly.

Every one of us wants to do something. Something that we genuinely like and will never get bored of. I am no different. I too wanted something to do. I worked really hard for it, in the brightness of day and darkness of night, sometimes with closed ones sometimes alone. I imagined achieving it hundreds of time and that dream kept me motivated to work even harder. I tried my best But I FAILED. May be unlike others, may be I was closer but you don’t win until you win. When I failed things went blur. My dream shattered I saw ahead and there was nothing it was the dead end. Now there is nothing ahead and i can’t go back. Everything scares me. I don’t go out, I avoid meeting people, don’t face guest coming home. I am scared if they will ask me why did I fail, what am I going to do now. Even some of the words of family feel sharp like needle. I went to my close ones may be to console myself I feel less scared with them. But what next? I don’t see path ahead. Shall I give up? Compromise with my dream settles for something less? Shall I start sleeping, close my eyes and stop seeing my open eyed dream? Try to act like everything is good and I am happy? The questions feel as if out of syllabus and answer never existed. Everything but me seems moving ahead, going more and more away from me.

And then I glanced back and things changed. I saw things coming to me than going away. I realised what I have than I could have. What do I have? FAITH. I am not the speaker; neither I understand the difference between the faith and the belief. But I backed myself back in time and I want to back myself again against all the odds. I have failed and I might fail again but I’m sure I will fail better this time. I want to keep seeing my dream with my open eyes than in sleeps. I believed in achieving them and I must have the same belief, perhaps faith again. There is the dead end ahead. But there are small openings to the left and right. Bad time comes but doesn’t just passes, you need to move away may these openings join to the main course forward